Why Do You Want To Make That Commitment?

 

We all have been in relationships where the start was a little rushed and the end was a little bitter. Or very bitter.

We have also been in many short-term ones, where perhaps you or perhaps they wanted different things from life and you parted.

Truth is, a stage comes in all our lives where we simply are done with casual and brief dating encounters, and seek long-term happiness through lasting relationships.

Our desperation to have our fantasies come true — of a lifetime affectionate partner, or children, or starting our own families might sometimes pressure us into committing to relationships that have blatantly visible indications of failure, but we ignore them all and rush through.

There's a reason our head is placed higher than our heart. We need to use it more, especially in sensitive matters such as relationships and ask ourselves some very challenging questions before we decide to commit to a relationship or a life partner. 

These questions are often classified as unimportant when the heart is in full control. But using the head in addressing these seemingly unimportant issues will definitely save you from a future of constant heartaches, tears and regrets.

The list of these informative questions are non-exhaustive. Let's have a look at some of them.

 

Does my partner respect me?

You've probably heard this one a 1000 times, here's the 1001^st: it is VERY important to have respect for each other in a relationship.

This line's a cliché because it is true.

Your opinions won't matter to them if they have no respect for you. You'll have less of a say in any major decisions if they have no respect for you.

Most importantly, you'll be unhappy if they have no respect for you.

Of course, respect is earned for the most part, but if you feel like you're not being respected enough, even though you deserve it and haven't done anything to lose it; plain and simple, your partner isn't mature enough for a long-term relationship yet.

Respecting you less because you're now somewhat familiar with them shows fatal flaws in their character that are downright unacceptable.

DO talk to them about it without being aggressive, and see if they agree to work on it.

Not to mention, sometimes you need to consider the possibility that maybe you're unintentionally disrespectful to them, which is the reason behind their lack of respect for you...

No respect means no commitment. Let that sink in.

 

Does my partner support me?

This could be the most important question to ask yourself before plunging headlong into that commitment.  

If your partner does not see why you should have plans to move up in your career, believe in the growth of your business or is discouraging and trying to stop you from getting that degree that will enhance your life, please RUN! Period.

Does my partner give me enough time?

Time is more precious than most people realize. It is the currency that once spent, never comes back or offers reusability.

It is understandable if your partner has a busy life and can't take out too much time for you. But on the occasions where they can, if they still decide not to spend some quality time with you to create beautiful memories, they're not the right one to commit to.

And it goes the same for you as well. If you don't give your partner the gift of your time when you actually can, you immediately need to reconsider your priorities.

 

Do we both work towards being better partners for each other?

Let's be honest with ourselves; there's no such thing as "the one." No charming prince or princess who's your perfect match is waiting for you somewhere out there.

A relationship is built on many things, and one of them is adapting to each others' needs, desires, and requirements.

Your partner might not be perfect, but they can work towards being a perfect partner for you. By the same token, you can adjust yourself a little to suit your significant other better.

"Be yourself" is a nice idea, but if you or your partner use it as an excuse to avoid trying to be a better person by not improving where you need to, it is destructive for your relationship.

Look for this quality in a partner before committing to them, and more importantly, develop this quality within yourself!

 

Can my partner "go underwater?"

No, we're not talking about their interest in scuba diving.

By "going underwater," we mean if they can be accommodating about something they don't much like that you enjoy.

Let's clear this up.

You love singing and like to hum around while doing everyday stuff.

For whatever reason, they don't find it appealing.

Would they object to it and not let you do such a little thing that you take pleasure in?

You can extend this example to anything you can relate to from your personal life.

You really like watching romcoms while they're cringy to your partner. Do they make you change the channel?

These little things add up. Such trivial bickerings compound over time, and one day you realize that you and your partner just keep fighting for invisible reasons.

Make sure your significant other and you yourself can go underwater for each other, before you commit to them.

A strong relationship isn't the one that feels great when things are smooth; it is the one that feels stable even when things are rough. 

 

Can my partner listen?

It is criminally underrated how important listening is.

Each conversation is infinitely better with a partner who can properly listen, grasp your perspective, and share their own.

Good listeners also provide you a safe haven to share your opinions without being judged.

Having said that, let us also mention that most people are NOT good listeners. It's not a problem, though, if they're not; it's a problem if they don't acknowledge it and reject the idea of putting efforts into bettering themselves in that regard — out of self-respect, you shouldn't commit to such a person. Someone who continuously disregards your opinion and your voice is helping you build up your self-doubt and successfully destroying your self-esteem!

But, if your partner listens to understand, instead of listening just to respond, you've hit the jackpot!

In such a case, do make sure you let them feel they've hit the jackpot, too!

Ultimately, if your partner is “yes” to most of the above-mentioned questions and qualities, or they're genuinely working towards having them and bettering themselves, then congrats! It's probably a good idea to make that commitment.

And in the dreadful case that you just can't consider your partner fit to commit to yet, here is one suggestion - THINK WITH YOUR HEAD. Re-evaluate the relationship!

All things considered, treat your partner how you want to be treated!

I really believe that if it's actual love, your feelings, thoughts, and vibes will be mirrored.  Giving your partner the same kind of love, respect, support and attention YOU would want to receive would usually be reciprocated - if the feelings are mutual.

In any relationship, each party should give their 100% consistently. Not some days, or once in a while — but every single day!

Bring your problems to their notice. Let them know how you feel about certain things that bother you, and how you'd love for both of you to walk hand-in-hand right through those issues!

Odds are, they might not even be aware of your concerns and would be happy to address them.

I wish you all the very best with your relationship! Remember, being in one is infinitely easier than maintaining one. And progressively maintaining a beautiful bond is the key to a successful and committed relationship.

Have any queries, feedback or suggestions? Leave a comment! We’d love to hear from you!